I am finally sharing details and a review on our Uppababy Vista stroller! Easton just turned 11 months and we use it everyday. When we first got pregnant, picking a stroller was huge for us. There are so many out there and I wanted to make sure we chose one that not only worked for us in the beginning but that we could keep and use for awhile. We went to Buy Buy Baby and tested out a few. As soon as we both pushed the Uppababy Vista we were like, this is it. 

This stroller is legit the Mercedes of strollers. It glides and is so easy to push. People ask all the time what my thoughts are on it and I am freakin obsessed with it. 

It is beautiful to start out with. I loved how sleek and chic it looked. It has a beautiful leather handlebar, a ventilated canopy and extendable UPF 50 sunshade, which keeps your babe cool and comfortable. It's very aesthetically pleasing and that is one thing I love about it.     

We have the MESA car seat and it attaches perfectly. I did a few stories sharing how easy the stroller is to use because it is insanely easy. Everything is one click! 

If you're like me and a busy mom with a bunch of stuff you will love the extra large, easy access basket with a 30 lb weight limit. This is great to hold your diaper bag, toys, purse, shopping bags, etc. 

I see more babies in our future and I love that this stroller can turn into a double! I love that it grows with your family! Our entire family loves this stroller and I would recommend it to anyone! You can click below to shop our favorite Uppababy products. 

This post was sponsored by Uppababy. All opinions are my own. 

I am already getting emotional writing this. What better day to tell you about Easton's birth story than on my birthday. You are the best gift I have ever received Easty boy and you truly will never understand how lucky I am to be your mama. I am very excited to share with you guys this amazing, loving, empowering, life changing and unforgettable experience. Now let's talk about how he came into this world...

CONTRACTIONS STARTED

It was Friday November 1st, 2019 and I had a photoshoot with my friend Lindzy. Let me rewind and tell you I already had my hospital bag packed and in my car because I thought I was getting induced earlier but my doctor changed her mind. Halfway through the photoshoot I looked at Lindzy and said, " I don't want to freak you out but I'm definitely having what I think are contractions." They felt like bad cramps. I came home, did a try on session, got some food and relaxed with Justin. I woke up Saturday to worse cramps around 10am. I told Justin and you guys, you would have thought I was having the baby on the floor at that moment. Justin started freaking out, running around the house, trying to get everything in order. 

FIRST TRIP TO THE HOSPITAL 

I said, babe calm down I am fine but I'm in pain. I remember standing at the top of our stairs bending over as Justin was at the bottom of the stairs looking at me and he said we are going to the hospital!! I showered, did my makeup, brushed my teeth and we stopped at Tim Hortons (I had heard to make sure to eat before) and headed to the hospital around 11:15am. 

Justin was seriously so cute. He dropped me off at the front, went and parked the car and sprinted in with the bags. He was flustered the person checking us in was taking a while because he knew I was in pain. Once we got checked in, they put us in a room. 

They checked me and I was 3-4cm dilated and 70% effaced. They put me on the monitor and watched me for 1.5 hours but my contractions were irregular (7 minutes apart) and not super close together. They sent us home and said to come back when it got worse. 

We left the hospital, picked up food, went home and tried to nap but they were getting worse. Justin downloaded a contractions app for me to time them. I was pacing around our bonus room and would bend over anytime I got one. Justin kept telling me to lay down but it felt better to stand. I finally gave in and curled up in a ball on the couch next to my phone with the app opened up. I did it for one hour and two separate times an alert came up that said go to the hospital! At this point the pain was so bad I could care less what I looked like I just knew we needed to get there. 

SECOND TRIP TO THE HOSPITAL 

Justin was in a panic (again) lol. When we got to the hospital around 9pm we pulled up and I got the biggest contraction. It was so bad I couldn't get out of the car until it passed. I waddled in as Justin parked the car (and this is actually really funny) the guy at the front was a younger kid and he looked at me and asked if I was there to visit someone. YOU GUYS, lol. I was huge, waddling, out of breathe and looked at him and said no I'm in labor. Then he freaked out and said omg let me grab you a wheelchair lol. 

We got into a room and they checked me. Somehow I was still only about 4cm but 90% effaced now. The contractions were super close and I was in so much pain. I knew I wanted and needed the epidural. They had me in a room on a monitor waiting for my delivery room. 

Once we got into our delivery room I was in so much pain I didn't even open my eyes for a long period of time. My mom and my sister came (I am super close with both of them) and were trying to calm me down. My nurse, unfortunately, was not very nice. She was an older woman and acted like I was a pain for her. The time came to get the epidural and Alyx (my sister) said Nicole it's ok, it doesn't even hurt! She knew I hated needles and was trying to make me feel better. My nurse (right before I got the epidural) said, "oh wow really? I have seen people jump off the bed it hurts so bad!" Justin later told me him and my mom looked at her like they were going to punch her lol. 

I received the epidural around midnight and it felt like a bee sting. But once I got it I was in lala land. I said on my stories that I've never done ecstasy but it has to be what it feels like because all of the pain was magically gone. From 12am-7am my nurse said she wanted to check me every hour. She had me flat on my back and would come in and flip the lights on, change me, check me and flip me then we would wait. She kept saying every time I was closer. Finally at 7am her shift was over and a new young, bubbly, super nice nurse walked in. She was like girl why are you flat on your back? We've gotta sit you up and get you to start pushing! I was so excited. I liked her a million times better already. 

THE BEST TEAM 

At 8am they called the doctor and he came. Oh ya I missed that. My entire pregnancy I had a woman doctor I loved and I found out the day I went to the hospital she wasn't on call and wouldn't be delivering my baby. My only real criteria was that I didn't want a guy delivering the babe. Guess who was on call? The only guy at my doctor's practice. He came in, cool as a cucumber and had me start pushing. He was amazing. I instantly felt at peace with him delivering the baby and he helped me focus on my breathing. Justin was at my head, my mom was holding my leg and my sister was recording everything. All three of them were coaching me, telling me how amazing I was and truly were the best. I couldn't ask for a better team. 

GO TIME

As I continued to push, I realized I could feel what felt like his head on my left side. Oh no. The epidural had wore off only on the left side. I told Justin I couldn't do it. The pain was so intense. I remember looking around and I could tell something was not right. I later found out Easton's heart rate got up to 200 and that was when the doctor said he was going to "help me." He used the vacuum and I heard my sister say omg Nicole he has a head full of black hair! My doctor said Nicole look at me and give me your hands. I reached down and grabbed Easton and pulled him out and onto me. Ok officially crying. The song "You are the Reason" by Calum Scott was playing on my playlist. I looked down at you and you were staring right at me. That is when I truly experienced the most amazing love. My baby was here. November 3rd, 2019 at 9:23 God gave me the best gift I have ever received. My boy! Easton Brooks Leffew. He was 6lbs 13.5oz and 19.5 inches long. He had a head full of black hair just like mama but was daddy's actual twin. I could not have been more thankful the labor and delivery went smooth and we had a healthy baby. For the next hour I held him on my chest and had skin to skin. He latched right away and he was so peaceful and calm. 

Justin had to skin to skin after me and just when I thought my heart couldn't be more full. Seeing him staring at Easton, being "daddy" for the first time was the most precious and special moment. 

It is insane what our bodies can do, just when I thought I couldn't do it, I did. It was the most incredible experience and even though at times I felt the most pain I have ever felt I would do it 100 times over if it meant I got to see Easton at the end. 

Thank you for blessing me a 1,000 times over Easton. You are my best friend. I love you so much. XO

Cardigan: Chicwish c/o

Dress: Lulus, similar here

Bralette: Free People

Booties: Vince Camuto, similar here

Hey babes! I keep going through my archive of photos and finding some I never posted. I loved this chunky cardigan from Chicwish! I still wear it all the time. It's not maternity but it was perfect when I had a bump! They have the coziest pieces and I linked some of my favorite current sweaters and cardigans from them below! :)

My friend Emilee just had a baby and I went to visit her the other day. We were talking about everything no one tells you about pregnancy, labor and delivery! I told you guys on stories I thought this would be a fun blog post to write and maybe help some of you be more prepared?!

Let me also make sure I include these are from my experiences and yes I threw in a few from you guys. I know not one pregnancy, labor and delivery are the same so don't get your panties in a wad if you don't agree with me, lol. 

Things no one tells you about pregnancy:

1) As your pregnancy gets farther along, you literally have to pee on average 3-5x a night. And it sucks because it takes you awhile to get comfortable then you have to get up lol. 

2) How you will have to eventually ask your husband for help when you put on your shoes. 

3) How the farther along you get your husband is afraid to have sex with you because he might "poke the baby." 

4) If you experience heartburn, you will need tums by your side 24/7. 

5) How your boobs get out of control big and you will not be wearing a normal bra. I lived in bralettes. 

6) How actually hard it is to get pregnant. Most of you know we had infertility issues. I thought once I got off birth control I would get pregnant asap! That does not happen (for some like me). 

7) It might take you an entire episode of Friends to roll over and get comfortable enough to fall asleep when you hit the 8-9 month mark. 

8) You don't get this super cute bump right away. It's more like.....does that girl have a little food baby or has she just put on a few lbs? Someone actually said that to me one time. "I thought you just gained some weight!" No Linda. There's a baby in there. 

9) To listen to your intuition. If you feel like something isn't right, speak up. 

10) That "morning sickness" is actually afternoon and night sickness too!

11) Breathing is hard. 

12) You think you are exhausted, wait until the first couple weeks with the babe lol. 

13) It's actually so beautiful that we create and carry this baby and they grow inside of us. 

14) You do not have to run to the hospital the second you start having contractions, you can actually shower. 

15) That when they "check" you, they are pretty much sticking their whole hand up there. 

16) That you should take full of advantage of free time. Take long showers, lots of naps, go to the movies, read a book, go out to dinner, etc. 

17) How hard it is to keep quiet and not tell anyone the first few weeks. 

18) How INCREDIBLE it is the first time you feel your baby move and every time they do you grab your husband's hand to feel. 

19) Pack your hospital bag weeks in advance because you could (like me) deliver 2 weeks early. 

20) You might actually miss your bump and love being pregnant. 

Things no one tells you about labor & delivery:

1) THE SHAKES! Holy cow. After I got my epidural I could not stop shaking. Justin was like babe are you freezing? I was like no I cannot stop shaking?!

2) How the first moment you see your baby is the most amazing, best moment of your life. It was like time stopped for me. 

3) How the first few days you are on such a "baby high" you look back and wonder how you ever functioned on 2 hour of sleep. Everything they do is perfect and you just stare and smile forever.  

4) That contractions are so much worse than a period cramp lol. 

5) You should make a playlist for your delivery and have it playing. We did this and it relaxed me more, plus made all the emotions come out to play! 

6) Breastfeeding is hard and sometimes doesn't work when you first try. 

7) You have nurses and doctors coming in and out of your room it feels like 24/7 the day after you deliver. 

8) You truly need to focus on your breathing.

9) How crazy emotional you are the few weeks after you deliver, and it's normal. 

10) How they push on your stomach after you deliver. 

11) How PAINFUL the first poop you have is. Pretty sure I thought this was worse than the actual delivery. 

12) Postpartum feelings and feeling lonely when and if you are breastfeeding in the beginning. 

13) How is hurts to walk after. Attempting stairs is a chore. 

14) The first time you ride in the car you might hold yourself off the seat because it is so painful. 

15) Post-pregnancy hair loss. Just started experiencing this and it is not fun lol. 

16) You wear mesh underwear and icepacks in your underwear. 

17) You squirt hot water on your crotch and butt to help the healing. 

18) You get hemorrhoids. And have them for a while. 

19) How you bleed for a few weeks after. 

20) Sometimes your water does not break and they have to break it for you. 

21) Once you get your epidural, it is insane how much better you feel. We were listening to rap music and singing. 20 minutes before that I was pretty sure someone had put me in actual Hell. 

22) Your doctor may have to "vacuum" your baby out. 

23) You can do it even if you think you can't. You turn into superwoman. 

24) That if you want you can reach down and pull your baby out (I did this and it was INCREDIBLE).

25) That is hard to remember life before your little one because once you hold them you wonder how you ever lived life without them :)

 Thank you so much to Chicwish for sponsoring today's post! 

Skirt: Chicwish c/o
Tank: Motherhood Maternity, similar here
Bralette: Free People
Sandals: Nordstrom, similar here
Necklace: Evereve
Boho cuff: Victoria Emerson c/o

I have so many photos I never posted from when I was pregnant so I wanted to share these with you guys. I miss this warm weather and loved these easy outfits. I loved tying a tank over to the side and pairing it with a fun skirt like this one from Chicwish. They have so many cute leopard pieces I will link below for you guys. 

This is one of the most personal posts I have ever written. I debated back and forth about sharing. I am being very vulnerable but I hope that this might help other mamas who have felt the same. Let me start off by saying "Postpartum Depression" is defined as a 'type of mood disorder associated with childbirth that can affect both sexes.

Symptoms may include:

- extreme sadness

- low energy

- anxiety

- crying episodes

- irritability or changes in sleeping or eating patterns

- brain fog

- lack of motivation

- feelings of guilt, inadequacy or worthlessness

- physical discomforts like muscle aches or headaches

- irritability or agitation

- lashing out at others

- fear of not being a good mom or dad

Just because you have Postpartum Depression does not mean you are "depressed." I feel like this is the biggest misconception.

Also I do want to say, this is my personal experience as a new mom. I'm not saying what I do is the best or trying to tell you what to do, I just want to share and help.

When we brought Easton home from the hospital, the first few days were kind of like a high. We were so sleep deprived but we were so excited we finally had him. We would stay up all night and watch Twilight movies on end, we would both just stare at him and we both thought we had to be up when he was- which was all night, lol. We honestly didn't know what the hell we were doing (first time parents).

I have said from the beginning I wanted to breastfeed which I'm proud to say I've made it 11 weeks and 2 days in counting and am still going lol. I love it. However in the very beginning (it's weird saying "the beginning" because it still is but you know what I mean), he was eating every hour it felt like. As much as Justin wanted to help, there was really nothing he could do. I would feed Easton, lay him down, go take a shower then he wanted to eat again, it was completely normal for a baby but I was exhausted.

I remember one night I was up feeding him at 12am, 1am, 2am, 3am, 5am and 7am. I woke Justin up crying because I was so mentally and physically exhausted. I want to be the best mom I can be to my child but as a functioning human, I need a little sleep, ya know?

I would nurse him and look down and just start crying. I was so extremely beyond over the moon happy I finally had my baby but I felt like I was "sucking" as a mom. Or so I thought. I was anxious, googling everything, questioning everything I did, comparing myself to other moms and their babies, it made me so sad.

Once I became a mom it was like a gained a new piece in my heart. I started noticing every mom and their babies. I saw complete strangers differently. I remember seeing a mom by herself pushing a grocery cart with a baby carrier while trying to hold her toddler and her purse. I was driving but I just thought why is no one helping her?? I would have never noticed this prior to having Easton. It was amazing I was noticing other moms more but it just showed my emotions were working in overtime.

When the nurse talked to us about PPD in the hospital, I told Justin and even thought "this will never happen to me." We have waited so long and this is all I've ever wanted.

We went to our first month checkup and they made me take a test. It was just a paper form with questions about Postpartum depression. I ended up circling enough questions yes that leaned me on the side that was closer to PPD/PPA. I hugged Justin and just cried. Why was I feeling this way? I love Easton so much?? None of this makes sense? I was not depressed. I was tired. I was overwhelmed. I was anxious. I was emotional. Plus having a baby in the dead of winter in Ohio where it gets dark at 4:30-5 isn't exactly dream "baby time". I wanted to take walks with him, go visit friends, etc. and we literally couldn't leave the house because it was so freezing.

Our doctor said he could prescribe me with a SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor). This would be used as an antidepressant. This is not thie route I wanted to take. I was put on one in high school which led to me continuing to take it in college and it really messed with my hormones. The second I knew I wanted to have a baby I stopped taking it and have never wanted to be on any since.

I told the doctor no and instead Justin and I talked about other things I could do to make me feel better. I started taking Vitamin D everyday, I started making time to do something for myself everyday even if it was taking a walk or going to Target, I started journaling everyday and I downloaded the "Calm" app.

The number one thing that helped me get through the PP depression was support. Talking to friends, family and other moms. Once I started talking about it and doing the other things listed above I felt like a new human. I think a lot of moms are afraid to talk about this topic on social media because they don't want judged. You already get judged by how you raise your child and the last thing you want people to think about you is that you are a loose cannon.

I am here to tell you, there's not one mom out there that is "perfect." And guess what? That's perfectly fine! Your baby does not need you to be perfect, they just need you. You are amazing and your little one is soooo lucky to have YOU as a mama. Give yourself grace girlfriend. You are not alone. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here! XO

Thank you so much to Chicwish for sponsoring today's post! 

Our very first doctor's appt. Justin took it without me knowing. Seeing our little bebe for the first time!

We're having a baby! 

Hi babes! This post has been a long time coming. I am currently almost 37 weeks so I'm a little behind on my pregnancy posts but super excited to share as I know there are a lot of other first time mamas out there/ girls who are trying to get pregnant. The most important thing I want you guys to know while reading this is that - I am not a medical professional. I am not telling anyone to do what we did or that we had the magic solution. Always consult your doctor with any questions you have! PS- if you have any questions at all or just want to chat, send me a DM on my Instagram: HERE!

WHAT WE DID TO GET PREGNANT

I never thought we would have trouble getting pregnant. The thought never even crossed my mind. We were both excited to start a family but thought that the second I got off birth control it would happen so we waited to start trying until I was 28 and Justin was 30. I was healthy, Justin was healthy, we both workout frequently and thought it would be super easy. The first month passed without taking birth control and I was so shocked I wasn't pregnant. However, I had been on birth control for 11 years and had heard it takes your body awhile to adjust after you stop taking it. Little did I know that was just the beginning...

Month after month of negative pregnancy tests, I was starting to get discouraged. I went completely off all my medication I was taking. Around 8 months of trying I decided it was time to look into some other things we could do. I started taking Premama Wellness supplements. They have different stages of vitamins that you take to help you get pregnant. While these were great and may helped a lot of women get pregnant, after months of using them we still weren't. I started to get stressed but had heard from everyone that doctors wouldn't even start to be concerned until you had be trying for a year. 

A year rolled around and we still weren't pregnant. I didn't want to be stressed but I was so sad every month. I honestly can't remember at what month I started doing this but I had downloaded an ovulation and period tracker app called Flo. Flo was my godsend. Not only did it track your period but it told you the days you were ovulating and those days were obviously the days we had to make sure to have sex. Also, yes I held my legs in the air after for at least 5 min. The most TMI sentence I've ever put out. 

On top of the app, I was also using ovulation strips. You can buy these over the counter. I wanted to trust the app but needed to know for certain when I was ovulating. I made sure I was eating healthier and working out to get my body in the shape it needed to be in to have a healthy baby. I started taking a prenatal vitamin. But unfortunately, none of these were working, I still was not pregnant. 

I asked Justin what he did and he rattled off a list of probably 20 different things. What actually did the trick we will never know. But it may have been a hormone called Human Chorionic Gonadotropin (hCG), which has been known to increase sperm production. But we are beyond thankful. His advice is to do as much research as you can, read clinical studies, talk to doctors and make your own decision as to what you are going to put into your body.

HOW WE FOUND OUT

It had been a year and a half of trying. I would religiously check my app (Flo) to see if I was ever late. January of 2019 came and I checked the app. I was 6 days late on my period. I remember freaking out and being so beyond excited. I texted my sister immediately and she was like NICOLE TAKE A TEST! I took one test and it was negative. I told myself it was in the middle of the day and it's always best to take a test first thing in the morning so I waited until the next morning and took another. It was negative again. I was so sad. 

March came and it was right after my birthday. One night Justin and I were watching tv and he said, have you started your period? I realized I hadn't and it had been awhile. I checked my app.....in big bold letters it said 9 days late. I was happy but after January I did not want to get excited. He said go take a test! 

I grabbed a test from the closet and took it. It was a generic one and after I took it I looked at it and sighed. I told Justin it was negative. He said let me see it. I gave it to him and he said BABE. You read the test wrong, you are PREGNANT. I said no I'm not. No way. I just remember smiling so hard for so long. I said we don't know for sure I am. I'll take another test in the morning. The next morning I went to a boxing class then stopped at Walgreens and picked up the two fanciest tests there was. You know, the ones that say PREGNANT or NOT PREGNANT, lol. I came home and took 2. Both immediately said pregnant. This was the best birthday present I had ever received...we were having a baby. 

FIRST TRIMESTER RECAP

Symptoms- I went to Memphis with my mom and remember telling her I was so frustrated because I had gained 5lbs. I know this sounds so stupid but I have been the same size for years. I remember being so exhausted and then my boobs started hurting. So so tender. 

Cravings- CARBS. Bagels, cereal, mexican food.

Food aversions- coffee. yogurt, chipotle. 

Sickness- I only threw up twice my whole pregnancy and they were in the first trimester. Also- I don't know why they call it morning sickness. I felt sick more in the afternoon/evening. 

Mood- tired, weak, giddy. 

Favorite pregnancy apps- the bump, babycenter and kinder (this helps you pick names!) 

Best parts- knowing I was actually pregnant. Seeing him at the first ultrasound. Hearing Justin talk about him. Seeing how big he grew every week on the app The Bump. 

If you are currently pregnant, congrats! If you are trying, I am praying for you. I hope this post can help to bring some, if any peace to you that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Love you girls! 

Gotta go, I think my water just broke. Jk. :)